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Abbott is looking at other ways to stop people from ever entering Texas.

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Abbott is considering other measures to prevent people from ever setting foot in Texas

AUSTIN (The Borowitz Report), Texas Governor Greg Abbott stated that he is actively considering additional measures to stop people ever from wanting to enter the state.

Abbott admitted that although new laws prohibiting most abortions, restricting the right to vote, and allowing citizens to carry guns in Texas without permission or training would discourage people from visiting Texas, he stated that “we can still do more”.

He said, “Maybe we have passed a law saying when you must go to bed each night or when it is okay to use a hairdryer.” “We need to put on our thinking caps.”

“All I can do is spit,” he said. But what if Texas required that all visitors to Texas be bitten or stabbed by dogs? He replied. He added, “I’ll be damned”

Although he had worked tirelessly to develop new ideas to deter potential Texas visitors, he said that he was still surprised that anyone still wanted to visit Texas. He said, “In all honesty I thought that being governor would be enough for people to stay out.”

Borowitz report: More satire

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