CALIFORNIA (The Borowitz Report) – Desperate after yesterday’s recall, millions of California Republicans are fleeing the state to Florida and Texas in search of dumber governors.
Instead of suffering for a year and half under a governor who is a dictator of science, Republicans are leaving California.
Harland Dorrinson from Orange County, a real estate agent, stated that he would start a new life in Florida only with the Rolex on one arm.
“I looked in the mirror and wondered if I could really live under the control of a governor who blindly believes that verifiable reality is true. He replied. “I have decided to be happier with Ron DeSantis.”
Dorrinson stated that he was looking forward to a new beginning in Florida but regretted the difficult decision of having to choose between Texas or Florida.
He said that Governor Abbott and Governor DeSantis are the best choices. “Both are against mask mandates. Both are against vaccination regulations. DeSantis blocked YouTube videos of the company for spreading COVID misinformation. This was my key point.
More satire from the Borowitz report
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