So I just watched the reboot of Money Warriors from Planet Capitalism, my favorite cartoon, as a kid, and I have to say I find it totally unfair of them to twist the meaning of the original IP in order to stuff their ideology in our throats.
In the old “Money Warriors from Planet Capitalism” (or “Arise, Ye Prisoners of Starvation” as it was originally published in the USSR), the Money Warriors are just normal, creepy villains who want as much money as possible and who Underpeoples are perfectly normal, brave mole people who band together to fight back so everyone can have some money. At no point did this show interrupt the action to step on a soap box and be entirely didactic to score a few simple points with the rest of the woke up.
Fast forward to 2021 when I show my daughter this hideous reboot so we can bond about something on my terms, and she turns to me and says, “The underpeople are just like that worker at Target you spat on when you asked should you wear a mask. ”What’s next, an episode about critical racial theory?
Don’t even get me started with the total Mary Sue at the center of it all. Yes, in the version of the show I loved as a kid, Leeda, the resourceful mole lady, was the leader of the underpeople in their battle against the Money Warriors, but it was obviously not based on a real politician. (Were there any?) Now I’m watching the reboot and I’m like, uh, AOC vibes? Big.
Oh, and how they slaughtered my favorite character, KARLMARX 2000, the wise little robot that inspires the underpeople in their battle against the Money Warriors. It’s not enough for him to be a wise little robot sliding around on rocket boosters. No, suddenly it must be some kind of allegory.
I feel like I’m going crazy. I’m a thousand percent sure that “Robocop” is not about the privatization of law enforcement; that “Alien” does not research how people can be forcibly exploited by corporate machinery for profit; and that “Money Warriors from Planet Capitalism” in no way implies that we viewers are currently living on Planet Capitalism. If we live on planetary capitalism, where are the gods emperors who have hatched a plan to escape with missiles as soon as the planet becomes uninhabitable. Hello?!
Why does everything have to be political at all? Why can’t “Money Warriors” be like my new favorite series “Slum Executioner”, about a tough but classy ex-cop who makes sure that no one who has to steal to survive gets something out of his two million dollar house in steals? Evanston, Illinois? The good people at Showtime didn’t make this show politically by nature, and if they did, at least in a way that reflected my personal politics.
Here’s what you made me do. I’m going to create a Twitter hashtag, #RejectCapitalism, to show everyone how serious I am about canceling this unnecessarily political TV show. I’m going to start a petition to restart the process because collective action is the only way to get anywhere here. And I’m going to cancel my subscription to this streaming service that is owned by a large company. Take that, snowflakes! It is as KARLMARX said in 2000: “Let the ruling classes tremble before our revolution, for we have nothing to lose but our chains. Bleep, bup. “
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