AUSTIN (The Borowitz Report) – A new law that quickly slips through the Republican-controlled Texas legislature would introduce a strict national dress code for women.
Governor Greg Abbott is a strong advocate of the bill. He stated that women would benefit from the dress code because it gives them “one less thing to think about when getting up in the morning”.
Abbott stated, “I believe that human life is sacred and that the best way to preserve it in the case a woman’s life is to take away the stress of choosing what to wear.”
Abbott summarized the new dress codes, which forbid women from wearing skirts higher than the knee, sleeveless blouses, or most types of trousers.
He said, “Pants are fine so long as they have cuffs.” “However, if a woman is found in jeans or dungarees she will be sent home.”
Abbott refuted comparisons between Abbott’s dress code and that of the Taliban, which required women wearing burqas. He said, “We are against all forms of masks.”
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